Origen del Idioma Inglés

El inglés es un idioma originario del norte de Europa, de raíz germánica, que se desarrolló en Inglaterra, difundido desde su origen por todas las Islas Británicas y en muchas de sus antiguas colonias de ultramar. El inglés es el tercer idioma más hablado del mundo, por detrás del chino y del español.

viernes, 13 de agosto de 2010

SHORT JOKES


________________________________________
Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"

________________________________________
A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
________________________________________
A: Why are you crying?
B: The elephant is dead.
A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave.
________________________________________
PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"
TEACHER:" Of course not."
PUPIL: "Good, because I haven`t done my homework."
________________________________________
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
Teacher: What are you waiting for?
Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
________________________________________
Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Little Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom?
Little Johnny: But I asked first!

________________________________________
I used to be a werewoolf...
But I'm much better noooooooooooow !

SHORT JOKES


________________________________________
Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.
________________________________________
A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
________________________________________

The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick'
The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?'
The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'
________________________________________

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
________________________________________
Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!
________________________________________

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
________________________________________
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

RIDDLES


________________________________________
Q: What are two things people never eat before breakfast?
A: Lunch and supper.
________________________________________
Q: Why did the man throw a bucket of water out the window?
A: He wanted to see the waterfall.
Q: Why did the man throw the butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see the butterfly.
Q: Why did the man put the clock in the safe?
A: He wanted to save time.
________________________________________
Q: What has two hands and a face, but no arms and legs?
A: A clock.
Q: What has a neck, but no head?
A: A bottle.
Q: Where is the ocean the deepest?
A: On the bottom.
________________________________________
Q: Why did the man throw his watch out of the window?
A: He wanted to see time fly.

________________________________________
Q: What State in the United States is High in the middle and round at the ends?
A: Ohio.